Rhonda, you ignorant scut. (Look it up, sweetie.) First of all, might I just note here that the “dog” that we are taking off your shelves is doing very well in stores that match your chain’s demographic (you may have to look that up, too) all over the country. But since you botched the introduction and merchandising so badly, I’m not entirely surprised at your lousy results.

And yes, Rhonda, we do want our new product on your shelves, and badly. It’s already racking up sales far higher than products it has replaced at other chains. You’re right to say that we are both missing opportunities here. The longer this takes, the more it costs everybody.

But pray tell, what did you do with all the markdown money we already gave you? Because while it worked out to 50 cents a package, we saw only about half that come through to the shopper. And there was no real merchandising we could find. So what happened to the money? Were you planning a second 25-cents-off promotion at Christmas? I hope not, because you know it’s best to just take one deep cut quickly and be done with it.

I don’t know. Perhaps you bought a new car. But knowing how well you move product, I doubt that even a Ferrari would move for you.